Tag Archives: positivity

Critiquing critique: A blessing in disguise


How to avoid criticism

This isn’t a post about how to deal with criticism. People deal with it in their own way…some more maturely than others. I want to address the benefits of criticism to those lucky enough to step out and welcome it.

Reporters join athletes, leaders, politicians, actors and many many others as members of the public eye. It certainly has its benefits but as the door opens up for all the glory so does the pain.

Of course the public eye is more than your parents, your friends and your little rah-rah group that supported you throughout your life. It’s also made up of people with completely different upbringing, morals, beliefs and standards. It’s not a good or bad thing, it’s just humanity. I’ve dished out my own fair share of criticism. Everyone does.

As I’ve grown into my new job and have gotten over the rookie hurdles, I’m now trying to focus on the quality of the work over simply meeting deadlines and learning how to write. Lately I’ve been taking some hits from the community over my work not being up to par with other papers. I’m surprised how bad it hit me really, but looking back at my life I can see why it did.

I’ve been a hermit my whole life living in a sheltered little bubble. Obviously I’m shy but it goes beyond that. The strategy in my life until lately has been to avoid conflict at all costs. Seems simple, if I avoid conflict and confrontation I can’t be hurt. Of course I also can’t reap any awards. I would only make a move when it was almost 100 percent fail proof, otherwise I wouldn’t do anything. I’ve always been a people pleaser. As long as everyone else was happy I was, but everyone had to be happy or it’d kill me. Everyone had to like me or at least be indifferent about me. If someone messed with me or picked on me I couldn’t comprehend why and it would tear me up inside.

I’m realizing now later in life that negativity has always been there, I’ve just hid myself from it. I realize now even if I do something 100 percent perfect there will still be critic. Even Gandhi has haters.

It took me a while to understand this concept but if I had never stepped up and became a reporter I’m afraid I never would’ve. Part of the reason I became a reporter was to confront all of my fears and demons head-on and this was one of the unexpected ones. I’ve grown more appreciation for the successful athletes and other figures I’ve criticized throughout the years for what they do and what they have to deal with.

I realize now criticism isn’t a curse, it’s really a blessing. Obviously I don’t take everything to heart. However, I do agree with some points my critics make and I do agree I need to make changes. Feedback, both positive and negative, is the only real way your blind spots become exposed and become fixable. The only way to get feedback is to step out and throw your work to the hounds. That’s why I’m thankful for it because I know there are millions of people out there just as I was, too scared to step out. Sure they will never be criticized but they’ll also never be able to improve themselves and be the best they can be.

I’m not telling you to f**k the haters, I’m not telling you to ignore them, I’m not telling you to label them as bullies and do the same thing they do to you. I’m telling you to love them as hard as it may be and accept they will always be there. Channel it into a positive.

Now go on and give this one star.


My 10 Best Traits


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I sincerely apologize again for my lack of updates. I recently graduated, moved out on my own and have had a terrible case of writer’s block. I told myself that I would not fill this blog with fluff just for the sake of posting something and I stick by it. This blog is about quality not quantity.

Honestly I’ve been going through a lot lately and been thinking about a lot of things.  Of course, I’m not going through what many college graduates are enduring: the job search. For now I’m just embracing this period and treating as a summer vacation of sorts. I still have my full-time job which is good and all and I’m thankful for it but it’s definitely not my calling. This period has definitely given me the opportunity to think about what I truly want out of life but that is a post for another day.

The ever-going battle with myself wages on. I’ve conquered a lot of personal hurdles in the past couple of years but my confidence, or should I say lack of, still remains a problem. So yesterday one of my friends gave me a “homework assignment” of sorts to help me with this problem. The assignment: Write 10 traits/characteristics that you like about yourself. It seemed like something so simple and yet it actually took some time to think about it. If someone told me to think of 10 things I don’t like about myself I could’ve probably shot them off right away without hesitation. I think that alone shows where my mindset is.

So without further adieu my 10 best traits (no particular order):

1. My Integrity- I feel this is one of my greatest strengths and something I feel others would agree I possess a great deal of. I am trustworthy, honest and take full responsibility for all my faults. I make no excuses for my actions or inaction. I also won a scholarship based on integrity so that’s gotta say something.

2. My Open-Mindset- Another thing I pride myself on, especially as an aspiring journalist. I have my own beliefs but do not push them on other people. I am curious to hear about others’ beliefs even if a avidly disagree with what they say. I do not dismiss or ignore them. Right-wing or left-wing, gay or straight, Muslim or Christian I’m as objective as possible. It is not my place to make judgements.

3. My Dependability- This goes with integrity. My friends, co-workers, bosses and family know they can count on me.

4. My Work Ethic- I’ve held numerous jobs at a time on top of going to school full-time. I’ve worked for everything I own and pride myself on it. When I have a goal and set my mind to it, I do whatever it takes to make it happen. It may not happen overnight but I hammer through it.

5. My Lack of Jealously/My Desire for Others to Succeed- I used to want to bring people down, but now I strive to help others rise. For example, I’ve helped two people get jobs in the past couple of months and it’s truly a great feeling doing so. I think jealously is one of the most disgusting traits a human being can possess.

6. My Creativity- I have always considered myself to be a creative person. However, I feel my true potential remains untapped.

7. My Flexibility- I consider myself to be a jack-of-all-trades of sorts. I’m a fast learner and have the capacity to learn about a variety of different topics, gadgets and programs.

8. My Humility- One of my strengths and also probably one of my greatest downfalls as well. People have told me I am too humble. I definitely agree, which is why I’m writing out this list. Still, I feel humility is a great trait for a person to have and something I strive for.

9. My Wit- I don’t say much, but when I do people listen. I am an observant person and I try to make light of any situation.

10. My Determination- I WILL NOT settle for less in this life. Nuff said.

Well that was a good self-esteem boost. All kidding aside, I encourage everyone to make a list of their own. Self-insight has always helped me out. It seems like I spend a majority of my time looking at my weaknesses when I should be attending to my strengths as well.

Stay tuned for more (frequent) updates.


New Year’s Resolution 2013


2013

Following through with one New Year’s resolution is a great accomplishment and I’m happy to say that I’ve been able to do it two years in a row. My resolution in 2011 was to leave McDonald’s and get a new job which kicked off a “rebirth” of sorts in my life and overall attitude. In 2012, I made it my New Year’s resolution to improve my social skills. A very vague goal that was hard to measure but after reporting for two papers in the past year I clearly overcame my social anxiety and I’m now capable at having a conversation with a complete stranger. Still have a lot of work to do but I feel a lot more confident in my overall presence and demeanor.

This was definitely one of if not the best year of my life. I saw the West Coast for the first time, wrote for not one but two regional newspapers and won a full year’s scholarship based not on academics or ethnicity but on integrity. I think I’ve learned more and experienced more than I have ever had at any other point in my life. I still have much more to achieve but it’s hard to look back at 2012 and not be proud of things I did accomplish. Sure I’ve done some things that can be observed on paper but I feel I’ve grown a lot more on the inside than anything else.

So going into 2013 I wanted to make a resolution that wouldn’t be obvious (like getting a job after I graduate because that’s obviously everyone’s goal) but also not too vague. After reading many books and researching the habits of some of the most successful people in history I’ve determined the belief that your thoughts dictate your actions is true. I need to adjust my goals and habits to achieve a better life instead of making goals to avoid a bad one. For example, I need to set my goals towards getting a job or living on my own rather making it a goal to avoid going into debt or living with my mom for the rest of my life (no offense mom). If you think something, no matter if it is a in positive or negative light, it will most likely become a reality.

My New Year’s resolution for 2013 is to have a positive mindset. I’ve slowly been evolving towards this mindset for a while now. At first, it started as simply catching myself every time I was in a grumpy or bad mood, realizing how ridiculous I was acting, and turned my attitude around. When I woke up on the “wrong side of the bed” I used to allow myself to let that dictate the rest of my day. Now I don’t. Two important parts to this is, one, being grateful for everything I have. Reading the news, observing other people’s lives makes me thankful for what I do have. I can’t remember the last time I felt jealous of someone. Instead, if I desire a trait or an item a person has I work towards getting it. I think jealously is one of the most disgusting traits a person can have. It’s true some people were dealt a better hand but I know everyone reading this didn’t get the handful of jokers. The other thing is simply not caring what other people think about me. Of course, I take what others say that are close to me to heart but I no longer let them dictate my actions. I don’t let random strangers dictate my actions and I for damn sure don’t allow them to spread their negativity on me anymore.

So now I hope to continue this trend and take it one step further. No more self-put downs, no more saying “I can’t” or “I’ll never get a job in the field of journalism.” I will also continue my life goal of becoming the best human being I can possibly become. Good luck to everyone else in achieving their own New Year’s Resolutions.